Uncommon Musings

I’m still trying to discern what it is about me.

Why me?

Don’t get me wrong. I know myself.

I am confident.

In my beauty. In my soul. In my energy.

I am a wickedly smart human being.

I am rocking it as a mother.

I love deeply. I nurture deeply.

I love sex.

I laugh with gusto.

And when I say gusto…..

I mean I’m a huge nerd. A weirdo really.

But you know all of that.

You said “you’re an amazing woman.”

You know the connection.

So do I.

But the thing is……

I’m not afraid of it.

But you are.

I’ve called you out. Yelled at you. Spoken with a tone that left me full of anxiety.

You said “you never ask about my work”.

You’re right. Because work doesn’t matter to me.

Hearts matter. Souls matter.

Take off the masks. Turn off the performances. Please, I beg you.

Be yourself.

The person I knew 14 years ago. The one who was full of wonder and awe.

Please, I beg of you.

Each time I try to pierce the veil, you resist.

Yet, you keep coming back. Why?

I think I know. But I am concerned that I’m wrong. I second-guess myself. Because masks are damn confusing.

So this rant, you see, it brings me back to the start.

What is it about me? ME? Why ME?

Maybe I’ll never know.

Maybe I’m too afraid to ask.

But I’m going to. Prepare yourself.

Because I know why me.

The question is: why you?